You know how “Notting Hill” is the best chick flick? Well, “House Hunters” is the best chick TV show. Here’s why.
My wife of 12-plus years has cried about five times in our marriage — only once if you don’t count stubbing her toe on the living room table. But when “This is Us” is on, she cries every couple of minutes. I won’t watch it, as I’m not in the business of being forced to weep. It’s bad enough being a Suns fan.
My understanding is that they’re not even killing a guy every episode. They’re just drawing it out, killing a guy, and then showing how he was the greatest guy and that it’s really sad that they killed that guy.
MAKE ‘EM CRY: 7 tear-jerking moments from ‘This Is Us,’ ranked
But don’t discount “House Hunters” as a show with no drama. I’d estimate 80 percent of the couples featured on the show file for divorce within four weeks of filming. Without fail, the two people have wildly different wish lists, often direct opposites (“He wants double sinks in the bathroom; she thinks that’s way too many sinks. He wants an open concept; she wants a closed concept, whatever that is. He wants a big yard; she’s in love with another man.”)
The big reveal at the end of the show is the best part. Not just the home they picked, but how the person who compromised looks when they say they’ll do it. If they look happy and make out with the other person, you know they’ll be OK. If they’re still upset, it’s time to flip over to “Divorce Court” to see if they’re on that show next.
For my money, the best part of “House Hunters” is getting to see what life is like in different parts of the country/world. The houses in Georgia are massive; the houses in the northeast are old; and the houses in Europe are weird.
Seriously what is going on in Europe? I thought they just had weird power outlets and haircuts. It turns out they have weird appliances (small), very few washing machines and virtually no dryers.
Look, I know Americans’ vehicles and diets may be unnecessarily large. But our appliances and insatiable need for all things Guy Fieri aren’t. Now get on board or we’ll start beating you at soccer, too.
People have weird deal-breakers. Whether it’s several extra bedrooms for all the guests who will be visiting them in Cambodia, or just room for all their chickens even though they live in the heart of Chicago, watching “House Hunters” shows you how weird people are.
I mean, everyone knows that all you need are white cabinets, white-washed brick, double sinks in your en suite bathroom, and if you’re lucky, some shiplap. Duh.
Did you know “House Hunters” makes for an awesome game to watch while having a party? Start watching without knowing what state the episode was filmed in and try to guess. Or if you’re a Millennial, play a drinking game where you take a drink every time someone says “open concept,” or “en suite.” But be careful — one time we took a drink every time someone said “wow” as they entered a room or looked at something as ordinary as a spare bedroom and my liver fell off.
Have you ever seen an episode of “House Hunters” twice? If you answered yes, you’re spouting alternative facts. They make more than 400 episodes of “House Hunters” a year — and that’s not including “House Hunters International,” the creepy “Tiny House Hunters” or all the other spinoffs!
Presumably, this is because all the couples get divorced immediately after filming. Or maybe it’s because the episodes cost $1.42 to make. Whatever the reason, it’s nice to be able to turn on the TV and judge all new people whenever you want because there’s a new episode of one of the “House Hunters” on all the time.
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